Independence

Around the time I was finishing my PhD and checking my options for post-docs, I remember discussing one with my advisor. I was saying that, having visited the lab in question, from observing and discussing with the researchers, I knew that people were a bit left to their own device. I expressed my concern about my ability to navigate with the bare minimum in help. And he said “Ah well, you’re independent enough for that!”

I remember at the time I was a bit perplexed because I had never really thought of it and didn’t really think I was really independent. I think indeed I can decide to do things and set off to do them, but my main issue is that I like to be validated in what I do. When I was doing my PhD research, my advisor was particularly good at letting people experiment and test their own ideas, although he always made sure people didn’t get side tracked on hopeless stuff. I suppose he was good at nurturing independence without it turning into abandonment. But when I hesitated I could always knock on his door to check.

When I think back I guess I always considered that it was my responsibility to do well and therefore never really thought of whether I was independent enough, I just did things, and tried my best. And also I did it because I enjoyed them.

Since then, I have missed the possibility to share my decisions (small or larger) with an advisor, and whenever I get the chance to discuss things with (informal) mentors or colleagues, I really enjoy the feedback and the advice.

This all came back to me recently during the field work I mentioned recently where I saw some very slacking grad students. Do they need precise instructions? Do they just not want to do it? Do they think it is OK for someone else to do things? Do they just not see where they could do and learn? I was really perplexed. Although I reckon there was possibly not enough direction for the trip, there was definitely a lack of voluntary participation from some.
I’m wondering to what extent the two notions of independence (being able to do things on your own, or of your own initiative) and responsibility (in the sense that you consider that as a staff member/collaborator/project participant/whatever at whatever level, you can make a difference and a significant and positive participation) are linked. Maybe they’re not? Maybe it’s just the way I see things?

Reading a thesis chapter

I’m reading a thesis chapter for a friend. It’s taking me sh*tloads of time. This chapter is a clear indication, if any more was necessary, of the poor and light supervision that she got during her thesis. The writing really is tedious, and the structure confused. The English isn’t great but I can cope with that. That’s what happens when a supervisor is happy enough living in close quarters and a small circle of collaborators, with no ambitions to publish or to communicate your work (with which you can get away in this field that is strongly related to aid/development issues). You might think little of publishing peer-review papers, but at least, breaking your teeth on a couple of submissions as a PhD student can help you learn how to write. Obviously, if your thesis is your first chance to write a substantial scientific text, it’s going to be hard. (The supervisor in question has all my respect for imposing herself as a women in the place she did, but none for her human and supervision talent. I would probably include her in the non-candidate models).

A second element that does not help in the flow is that my friend is very obviously sick of the whole thing. So although I am not super happy about having spent most of my Sunday (and all my weekend work time, hum) on it, I guess I won’t be mad at her for it. At this stage, I just hope she doesn’t just drop the whole thing. Will have to present things in an encouraging light when I send it back to her. I suspect she underestimates how much work will still be necessary.

Better get back to it, still 10 pages to go.