One year on

So it is now just over one year since I started as an ass prof, a lecturer or whatever you like to call it. The best metaphor that I can think of to describe it is that I feel like learning to ride a bike: I feel like I can take the world over thanks to new capacities, I got a fresh and exciting view of the world around me, but I still feel a bit insecure and unstable.

I feel like I have learned a great deal over the past year, and feel like the one coming will be just as challenging, in a good way.

What I have achieved:
-I have managed the first year of classes and although there is much improvement to be brought, I think I’m facing the right direction. Because of a small number of students, I also don’t feel like assessing success just on one group would be fair (to me).
-I managed to get one government-funded research contract, and one prestigious travel grant;
-I have started to take my own place in the lab, with other profs and with other researchers;
-I think I have made some progress on the way to good time management. Can still improve, though.

What I still haven’t done or places where I need more progress next year:
-publications!!
-I will start supervising PhD students (and first need to secure their hiring);
-hopefully continue on the same way for grant writing and securing;
-be a more assertive and less apologetic professor. I really need to stop apologizing for it.

When I compare my progress to my official plan for the two first years (the one I will be assessed on in two years, at the end of my probation period), I think I have done quite well, except for one thing: publications. I will be co-author of two papers this year (one accepted; the other almost ready). But my own stuff really has made little progress. I’m almost there for the analysis… but still some work.

Have I enjoyed the job? Sometimes I’ve cursed myself and the place and the students and the colleagues and the universe. Sometimes I feel really excited by what I am achieving. Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I had another job, one that would maybe have less pressure (if such a thing exists), but when I actually ask myself what I would like to do instead, I can’t think of anything reasonable… I take it as a sign that I should carry on…