Some background on this. I am an assistant professor in the place where I did my postdoc, so I know everybody there ; just a few months ago, I was just one of the researchers. Now I am one of the "others". Some of the researchers are about my age, or sometimes older. Sometimes I feel completely comfortable with them, sometimes I feel totally awkward. Sometimes I think we don’t understand each other at all.
It tends to depend on people to some extent, and also on the time.
I’m not even sure what makes me uncomfortable. I think there is something about understanding that we now have different responsibilities and different things at stake (like, say, tenure). However, I’ve been there, I know that as a PhD student, especially when you get near the end of the thesis, it seems like a huge thing and it is a huge thing.
I don’t know. It feels really awkward. I certainly don’t want to be considered hierarchically superior, but still I get involved in administrative stuff that they can just watch and comment from "outside". And I am in the constant emergency state of preparing all the new lectures. Currently, getting to do a bit of research is the cherry on the cake.
Say, yesterday, there was a graduation party that I could not attend, because I had to prepare today’s lecture. It took me the entire evening. And I felt really stupid having to tell that to people. It was so bizarre.
Has anyone felt in a similar place?
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3 comments:
I think that the emergency mode of lecturing is not doing you any favors. Which days do you teach during the week? It may be helpful to give yourself a daily schedule.
Monday, tuesday, and thursday. But it's all new stuff.
Yeah, I can appreciate that schedule. It might be worth taking a couple of weekends to get ahead on your lectures. As a bonus you could be in the lab after class on Tuesday and Wednesday morning.
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